Best responses to the rando/crazy ex-girlfriend post

These were some of my favorite responses to “And that’s why you don’t bring a rando to your office holiday party“:

“If you need someone to give him a beat-down, I will punch his root canal.​”

“Want me to call in sick and take a baseball bat to his kneecaps?  Or is him having an ex like that punishment enough?”

“Greetings from Sri Lanka! I can’t participate in a beat down but I can maybe pray at a temple that a curse befalls him. That seems in line with Buddhism right?”

“That’s why I never kiss ’em on the mouth.” [technically a Jayne Cobb quote]

“what a spineless fucktard.”

“Bag of dicks”

“ok, i’ve only read the first 2 paragraphs, but this is kind of amazing” [from my ex]

“damn, you put the smack down” [my ex again]

“Reading your story made we want to start drinking beer” [I can’t think of a higher compliment]

“I don’t know what you were thinking dating a military guy from West Virginia in the first place.”

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